idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize