so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
