Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
