There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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