Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
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