So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Randomize
