I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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