I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Randomize
