But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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