hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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