Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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