just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Randomize
