Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
In America we eat man semen.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
