im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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