The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
this just has baby written all over it
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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