Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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