Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
