She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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