Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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