high people should be assigned attendants
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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