I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
