so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
