did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
