She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
