Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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