I wanna bring you to show and tell
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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