Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
