you're like a bully in the Christmas story
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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