Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize