Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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