why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
