Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
God I need to hump something, right now.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
