Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Randomize
