There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
