so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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