we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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