one two three fourrrrnication!
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
