I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
