True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
