is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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