I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Let the clothes fall where they may.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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