his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I love you. Go after that dick
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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