I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I just gargled with NyQuil
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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