This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Randomize
