she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
