This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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