You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
