Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
