with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
