WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
