Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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