Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
