Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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