I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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