That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize