I feel like I'm in dance class right now
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He shit in the fireplace
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
