Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Blood and glitter go together right?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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