you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
