its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
