When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
it's like heaven, but drunker
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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